💬 Slide Into My DM’s

💻 Navigating Consent Online

As you’ll see in most of our consent conversations, we default to using the R/G/Y framework in our digital communities (more info below) . This remains true when navigating our private FB group or connecting with someone you met in a party.

First, if you don’t have explicit consent to connect with someone outside of any event (IRL or digital) then we recommend you hold off on any unsolicited DM’s (direct messages).

💬 What can & can’t I send in an opening DM?

  • Lead with text, unless the context has specifically and explicitly mentioned that the person welcomes a picture from you. An example of that might be someone commenting on your photo in a Thirst Trap thread with e.g. “I would love to see the uncensored version of this pic, could you DM it to me?”

📸 Can I send someone unsolicited pictures, even if they’re not nudes?

  • Short answer: just don’t. No, not even your cute cat picture.

  • With a Green or approved-Yellow interaction, you can send a private text message

  • Once your private text message conversation is underway, meaning the person has responded to your initial DM, it is then between you and them to engage and discuss the sharing of photos. Be kind, respectful, and welcome their no’s as happily as their yeses.

🚫 Why we are strict about this: 

  • Many people are sent unsolicited pictures so often that they have a visceral reaction to receiving a notification like “<someone you don’t know> sent you a photo”

  • We don’t want to recreate such experiences for our members.

  • If (okay let’s face it, when) you’re going to send nudes, we recommend being safe about it. Sending a fun, flirty photo with explicit consent can be super fun and sexy, but also potentially unsafe. Here are some safety recommendations: 

When members are posting thirst traps, we encourage the poster to use the R/G/Y system with their photos.

  • ❤️ Red — Don’t engage me; I will engage you first. 

  • 💛 Yellow — Ask me if I’m interested in engaging

  • 💚 Green — I’m open to receiving flirty messages!

More detail: forLove Rules on our website

For the FB group, R/G/Y works like this:

  • ❤️Red: no DMs please: do not send unsolicited messages. If the member does not mention welcoming flirts or private messages, treat them as if they have a (R) in front of their name, i.e. don’t ask them for DMs . This is the default on our FB group, unless specified otherwise.

  • 💛Yellow: a mention such as “flirts welcome”: flirts as Facebook comments okay, but ask in a FB comment if you can DM them. DMs out of the blue are not greenlit by mentions that welcome flirts but don’t make explicit mention of DMs. Once those are consented to by that person, DM away!

  • 💚Green: an explicit mention of flirts in DMs welcome: okay to send unsolicited messages or flirts, but: do not send unsolicited pictures! 

    • Example: welcome messages or flirts, “Wow, your pose in that photo is so beautiful!”

    • Example: “Please DM me that photo you were talking about”

** Disclaimer**

We are not affiliated in any way with the platforms listed below. We just want you all to be safe out there!

  • Use an encrypted communication platforms:

Facebook Messenger’s Secret Conversation option in a private chat.