Reporting and Accountability

Sexual spaces can be both transformative and triggering.

We go out of our way to create spaces that are both sexy and safe, and we care for anyone harmed.

Zero-tolerance systems can actually discourage reporting and make spaces less safe, so instead we foster a culture of growth and accountability.

When people mess up, they are loved, educated, and provided resources and opportunities to improve.

What to Do

If someone’s violated our consent policies or code of conduct, or you feel unsafe in any way, you have options:

  • Address it yourself

    • All our members are empowered to solve problems as they witness, experience, and cause them.

  • Let us know directly

    • Inform the host of any room

    • Message any forLove admin or moderator on Facebook

    • Speak with a member of the Safety Team (marked at the event)

    • Complete our Incident Report Form

What Happens After a Report

Our Process

  1. Safety Team is automatically notified

  2. Safety Team contacts the reporter as soon as possible

  3. Safety Team may then talk to the reported person, direct witnesses, character witnesses, and hosts.

  4. Safety Team brings the results of their investigation and recommended actions to forLove leadership

Things to note

  • Reporter and reported may be asked to form pods, or groups of their close friends, to support them. 

  • We will always respect a reporter’s desire to remain fully anonymous, though this may impact our ability to follow-up.

  • We decide on a case-by-case basis whether to inform the reported person, and/or the broader community.

  • In the event that an accountability process, mediation, or an investigation is called for, it will be the reported person’s responsibility to pay the associated costs or leave the community.

Conflicts of Interest:
If a report involves one of our hosts or leaders, this process will be conducted by an outside investigator so as to ensure impartiality.

What may result

After receiving a report, forLove may do any of the following:

  • Have a conversation with the participant expressing concern

  • Issue an official warning

  • Bar a participant from volunteering

  • Education, therapy, mediation, or accountability process

  • Probation, suspension, or banning from forLove events

  • Archive the information and recommend no action

  • In extreme cases, such as stalking, harassment or abuse, report actions to the police

Is your issue with a forLove team-member?

We don’t believe it’s possible to impartially investigate ourselves. So we have a process in place that AUTOMATICALLY brings in an impartial third party if a report concerns a team person.

Angel Adeyoha is an independent integrative coach. They are empowered to investigate forLove team and bypass team to inform the forLove membership about any complaint they receive.

If you had a negative experience with anyone on the forLove team, please use this form to let Angel know.

Our reporting and accountability policy is based on the work of William Winters (william@bonobonetwork.com) & Misha Bonaventura (misha@bonobonetwork.com) of Bonobo Tribe. You can find their open source Consent & Accountability Policy here.